What a tough 2 months it has been. I have been relearning how to live with myself. I don’t know about you, but when I go through a tough season in my life, my self esteem takes a hit, and I need to re-evaluate myself.
Ending things, whether it be a relationship, a job, a friendship, or even the year is a daunting task. It would’ve been a million times more daunting if I didn’t have my faith. It’s a skill to handle yourself with the care and love you deserve.
This is year has absolutely been the most faith testing, challenging, exciting and confusing years of my life. From starting at a company that didn’t succeed, ending a relationship that wasn’t serving me, and having to move back to my country. It’s a lot. My head and my heart still haven’t come to terms with it. The Lord knows I’ve prayed A LOT!
I want to encourage myself and YOU in this post to look at the positive things about yourself. Prioritising yourself, your needs and your happiness above all else. Sometimes the things we think will make us happy won’t! They are things we grab at in bad times to make us feel grounded and that we grab at to fill a hole of sadness and emptiness. It’s known, it’s like a baby grabbing its dummy to sooth the crying. The comfort of the known is always so attractive when things aren’t looking good.
Where to start?
1. Go write down your feelings in a journal, everything that is prohibiting you from picking yourself up and going forward. Are these things within your control or not. If they aren’t, I want you to write down why you think you want to control them? If you did have control over those things, would your life be significantly changed. Usually the answer would be yes, but then think to yourself. If you hadn’t spent so much time trying to control the situation, how much more time would you have to enjoy the moment.
2. Seize the present moment, as human beings we have the need to dwell on the past or worry about the future. This links in with the first point. The only thing you can truly control or do rather, is enjoy the moment. Take in the sights, sounds, and experiences that life is giving you right now. Read a book, go for a walk, make a healthy meal, go out with friends, call your family and see them. Make time for yourself. Be more forgiving, respect yourself and embrace the beauty of being unique, beautiful and special. There is no one else like you in this planet.
3. Start a gratefulness journal, and start by writing down 3 things you are grateful for every morning. During the day when you find yourself worrying about things out of your control, remind yourself of these three things.
4. Spend time investing in your health. Go buy a healthy recipe book and try doing at least ome recipe each day. Go find fun and different kinds of exercises in your community. Move, breath and embrace your body. Your mental health depends on it.
5. Surround yourself with positive, upbuilding people, people that inspire you to be the best version of yourself. Honestly, my circle of friends has significantly shrunk over the last few years and I’m really glad about it. It’s something I pride myself in, because I know that spending time with enthusiastic, positive people will automatically make me feel more positive.
6. Grieve thoroughly. Now this is a hard one, but allow yourself to feel emotions. Cry when you’re sad, let it out. Emotions shouldn’t be bottled. If you have unresolved issues with people and you can’t contact them, learn to forgive and forget. It will set you free. Not only are we all flawed, but we need to learn to accept that people will disappoint us and that is ok. There is no need to hold grudges, all it does is harbour bitterness and resentment and makes your life a little less bearable.
I hope some of these tips of of help, and I believe that everyone has the capability to enjoy life after pain. You have to lift that head up and move forward.
Xoxo Dan the Wooman